Card game · 2 players · free
Skip the small talk.Play the 36 questions.
A free card game for two. 36 questions that get more personal as you go, based on a 1997 psychology study.
No account, no app, no ads.
The problem
You can know someone for years and still mostly talk about the weather.
- How was work?
- Fine. Busy.
- Any plans for the weekend?
- Not really. You?
- Same.
The Spark
Card 4 of 36
“What would a perfect day look like for you?”
Going deeper feels awkward. A card takes that pressure off: the question comes from the deck, not from you.
Sound familiar?
- 01
A good date that's still stuck on job titles.
- 02
Years together, mostly talking about groceries.
- 03
Old friends who catch up on news, not on each other.
- 04
You want to ask something real but don't know how.
How to play
One phone, two people, one card at a time.
One card at a time, in the order the study used. No long list to skim.
- Players
- 2
- Time
- 60 to 90 min
- Cards
- 36
- Price
- Free
- Languages
- EN, DE
- 01
Sit down together
One phone, tablet or laptop.
- 02
Read the card out loud
Then you both answer.
- 03
Don't rush
Tap Next when you're both done.
- 04
Keep the order
Each deck goes deeper. Stop after any deck.
The decks
It starts easy and gets personal.
Three decks, twelve cards each.
The Spark
Warming up
“If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?”
IThe Spark
12 cards
Dinner guests, perfect days, fame.
Deeper Waters
Memories and dreams
“What is one of your most treasured memories, and why has it stayed with you?”
IIDeeper Waters
12 cards
Memories, friendship, old dreams.
The Core
Honest and vulnerable
“Tell the person you're with about an embarrassing moment in your life.”
IIIThe Core
12 cards
What you like about each other, regrets, tears.
Why it works
It's based on a study, not a hunch.
In 1997, psychologist Arthur Aron paired up strangers. Pairs who took turns answering increasingly personal questions felt much closer afterwards than pairs who made small talk.
The questions don't make anyone fall in love. They help two people open up, one step at a time.
What we changed
We reworded the questions to sound natural and kept the study's order.
Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363-377. Read the study ↗
The printed deck
Want cards you can hold?
We're getting a printed deck. Tell us which one you'd buy.
FAQ
Questions people ask before playing
What is the best free way to play the 36 questions that lead to love?
Play them free at kindred-spirits.eu: one card at a time, in the study's order, with no ads or sign-up.
How is this different from other 36 questions websites?
Most show one long list. Here you get one card at a time, made for phones, with the questions reworded to sound natural.
What are the 36 questions?
A sequence of increasingly personal questions from Arthur Aron's 1997 study "The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness." Kindred Spirits splits them into three decks.
Do the 36 questions actually work?
In the study, strangers who answered them felt much closer than pairs who made small talk. They don't create love on demand, but they help two people open up.
Who can I play it with?
Anyone you'd like to feel closer to: a partner, a date, a friend, family.
How long does it take?
About 60 to 90 minutes for all 36. You can stop after any deck and continue later; just keep the order.